Read one book at a time.

The first 20 years or so of our lives are broken into digestible chunks. Infancy and toddler years are hard to recall exactly, but I know there was structure. Square meals and a sleeping regiment. Little other than eating, bathing, and sleeping to occupy the days. But it was glorious I bet. When napping was compulsory and everything was new. No need to pretend we were seeing things for the first time, because we actually were.

Elementary, middle, and high school all followed in line. Years spent here and there, but always towards a common goal. College, a career, or both simultaneously.  College was a whirlwind, but by far my favorite learning environment; I am not exactly itching to go back to high school anytime soon. Remarkable opportunities at our fingertips. (Steep tuition probably made that possible.) Learning for the  sake of learning, and musing about what might be if we strive.

Beckon adulthood. The great open-ended, and ideally long chapter. Newfound responsibilities and the uncertainty of it all. It's rather easy to get overwhelmed when I think about all the moving pieces. Things to do and see. People to connect and in some cases reconnect with. Skills to learn, because the stalled economy is not going to beat down my door for being mediocre. Money to save? Someday soon, hopefully.

A friend of the family told me a helpful tidbit that has stuck with me for some time now. So simple, but so perfect.

"You're carrying too many books! Your stack will be too heavy to manage. Read one book at a time." 

Challenges will come, and victories too. But they should be managed as they unfold, not before. I am the Queen of worrying about something before it comes (if it ever does) so in essence I am expending valuable energy on something that may never come to be. It is important to stay present in the moment. I have to train myself to do just that, but it is a worthy undertaking. Take one book off the pile at a time, and chip away.

A Light from Ahead

Working for a passionate team of designers and developers, albeit a short while, has exposed me to a wealth of resources. Not only professionally enriching in nature (I have been taking lessons in HTML and CSS for the past few weeks now!), but also inspirational. A source I visit frequently, Happy Cog's Cognition, churned out this gem and I am so thankful for it that I must share: What I Wish I Had Known When I Graduated College.

It was affirming to hear calming words of reassurance from an established professional, who has already weathered the volatile years right out of school. She confirms that the unease myself and peers undeniably feel is quite prevalent, and that we are not alone in the fear that we have somehow failed, already. She provides a welcome light from ahead. 

I quit more than my fair share of jobs (3 to be exact. Yes 3, and don't you judge) Primarily, I quit because I knew I could not sustain something that  a) I was not passionate about or b) would not gradually lead to a state of contentment. I am well aware that good things take time and I am young, but in these positions I think I was going in reverse.  My dreams were somewhere far, far away atrophying. My brain was seemingly turning to mush while insensitive folks belittled my aspirations. Knowing what I do now, I would have lowered my expectations and concealed my emotions, but I am also quite pleased I left jobs that did not make me happy. For some, it is hard to walk away from something. I practically ran! And even in these jobs, I met some wonderful companions I keep in touch with to date and learned a lot about social constructs and life in general; there is always a silver lining. These lessons will serve me on into perpetuity. I vow to remember what it was like to be naive and afraid, as I proceed through my career.  

Beyond the work itself being poorly fitted to my strengths, I also thought I deserved to be treated with some degree of respect no matter how small my position was. Maybe I am too sensitive, or conversely some were way too insensitive. Either way, I cling tightly to the belief that all people share the sanctity of existence and should be treated as such. This is not always the case in our society, but I will maintain my position. 

An illness in my immediate family brought me from DC, home to New Jersey and I had the chance to start over in a way. A stint in nannying after these few hellish work experiences gave me some much needed reprieve from the aggression and misery I felt at work. I really quite enjoy adventures playing Mary Poppins. I got to dabble for a while and stumbled upon a Web Design firm looking for a Project Manager. It has been only a few months, but I could not be happier. The people I work with are passionate, capable, and supportive. They build me up rather than condemn ideas and fervor. They welcome my enthusiasm and desire to contribute, helping me develop new skills. The workplace is a collaborative environment and I am contented to be "working". I actually feel like a full-time learner. Furthermore, in web development and design there is a multitude to learn. So much, that this should keep me occupied for a long while, thankfully. My fancy degree in Marketing and Entrepreneurship taught me how to think strategically  and now it is time to hone a skill, to become a maker of something. Selling is important, but I want to create something new. It would also benefit me to patient and have respect for the winding road.

I know for a fact many of my peers can commiserate with me. Have a look at Sophie's article, andthank you Sophie for sharing your wisdom. It is a much appreciated and necessary message for my generation. College lessons, social pressures, and inflated expectations have bred us to expect success and prestige instantaneously. Instead if we commit to learning something new everyday, practice kindness, and endeavor to find the fulfillment we deserve, we can create our best selves. And maybe by committing to this sort of path, we are already a success. 

To echo Sophie, we'll be fine. 

Looking North

One of the more prominent symbols in our culture, the North Star provides a stable vantage point both realistically as well as, and maybe even more importantly, metaphorically speaking. The North Star, or Polaris, appears stationary at all times, lying  directly overhead as seen from the North Pole. The other stars in the Northern sky rotate around it, taking cues from this reliable lead. Enter symbolism. It is probably a safe presumption that most people are searching for their own North star, purpose or meaning of some sort. A destination we can strive towards, approaching ever slowly, but steadily. Other commentaries identify the North Star as a symbol of the fulfillment of dreams. Sailors aligned their coordinates in relation to this mighty star in order to return safely home, and so we too align our behaviors so that in time we may navigate this world and create our ideal life. For the past two years, I have been a little lost in terms of work and finding my place. That being said, it is quite fitting that this story would begin for me, a self-proclaimed idealist, at a company called none other than Look North Inc. 

Relocating from Washington, DC to my home state of New Jersey brought me the opportunity to begin anew. And with some good fortune, I found my North Star. Situated in a charming Victorian home, this creative and technology studio has been in practice since 1996, providing the services of strategy and planning, user experience design, and web development among others for a slew of interesting clients. Their growing list of clients and projects necessitated the addition of another team member, a project manager, to organize the process. That’s my cue.

I graduated from Georgetown University two years ago with a double major in Marketing and Entrepreneurship and held a few positions that were less, well far less, than ideal. Here I was, a bright eyed recent graduate, inflated with the promise of a rewarding career and professional fulfillment that my professors so ardently instilled, stuck in jobs that felt quite hopeless. Day in and day out, I wondered if this was really what my schooling was supposed to prepare me for. So excited to graduate and start making my mark, I was left with a substantial void where my future prospects should have been, accompanied by a feeling of helplessness because I could not seem to figure out where I fit. I maintain it is important to have goals and to strive, but looking back I probably would have tempered those expectations just a bit. Ok, I should have tempered them leaps and bounds, but it was a chapter marked by much learning, a thicker skin, more realistic perspectives, and some needed patience. Are there greater sorrows in the world than an unpleasant work experience? You bet. But when conditioned to believe in the potential that life will hold, it can be quite demoralizing to leap into the unknown, lose your paddle and then have your compass stolen.  Thankfully, supportive people I met along the way provided much needed light for my journey.