40 days and 40 nights. While I wasn’t in a desert, I tried, really tried, to recalibrate my relationship with technology and devices. The sound of my husband’s “Did you hear what I said,” repeating in my psyche. I moved my body almost every day, thanks to my accountability partner, Rosie. I ate all things still but only had carb loaded faves like pizza on Fridays. A small victory of caloric sorts. As is my gift or potentially my curse, I tried to glean some learning from the practice…
Easter goodies ready for their close-up. All recipes via cookingwithnonna.com
During my personal social media hiatus ( granted I still used the tools for work) I identified a few things. Social media bombards the senses of sight and hearing. (This statement is not meant to exclude individuals with sensory impairments by any means so hear me out…) Social media platforms are highly suggestive in that they completely collapse all time and context and flood your eyes and ears with suggestions. Suggestions about how you should be, what you should wear, who you should strive to emulate, what song you have to listen to, why you should have already had a baby. The list is unending. Collective sourcing of suggestions can be very helpful and rewarding. At the very least it is quick. But in our consumption of these visual and auditory suggestions, we underutilize the senses that allow more personal agency: smell, taste and touch. These sensory experiences are accessible to more people and to me feel more egalitarian in nature. What’s that smell? Decide for yourself. How does it taste? Decide for yourself. How does this feel to you? Decide for yourself. Watch this if you ever forget out how wondrous the wind feels. Just try as best is possible to decide for yourself in a culture that is all too comfortable deciding for you at every juncture.
This is no assault on social media. I love it, and use it, and need it to some extent but I wanted to take a bird’s eye view of something that does occupy a lot of my time. Awareness is important even if we end up in the same place after our Lenten experiment of sorts. But, I’m going to put the phone aside, sit in the yard, smell some morning dew and drink a coffee while the cardinals visit as often as possible.
Quiet is so underrated. So is boredom. I have an urgent need to fill every moment of every day for fear of what my mind may come up with if I am not occupied. What will percolate in my brain when idol? But I learned I should be more fearful of what won’t manifest if I never give myself the space to just be.
I consumed books and podcast content that the mainstream masses are trying to remove or silence. Now this can be a polarizing take on the matter, but consider it if you will. I am intelligent and self aware enough to read something and discern for myself if it is potentially dangerous to my mind or the world as I know it. I need not be coddled by Amazon or the influencer virtue signaling warriors deciding what I should or should not have access to. The free exchange of ideas and open discourse is a tenet of a liberal society and I fear the day when all discourse will be moderated by forces that don't represent the common person.
I went to confession for the first time in 15 years or so. It’s healing to pour out your fears and innermost plague of worry. Find a safe place to bear your wounds and let them shine in the light of day. Didn’t your parents ever tell you that bandaids aren’t good for your bruised elbow in perpetuity? Air that shit out.
Sometimes when you do get what you ask for it can feel overwhelming. Or you try paint it negatively because you feel as if you don’t deserve what you have. Eckhart Tolle says it’s the ego. I dipped my toes into new waters and am quieting the voice that says “well do you really belong here.” I had some really fun opportunities styling food with two ladies I admire very much: Rossella Rago and Hadley Hauser. I had met both of them earlier in my career if we can call fumbling through life a career, and the cyclical nature of these friendships and how they have evolved is just really swell.
Hadley at work! I got to assist her on two shoots! She is also newly married!
I spent more time fortifying connections IRL and having uncomfortable conversations. First impressions are fine and all, but report back after months of peeling back a new friend’s layers. Highly recommend.
Life goes on even if you don’t document it. But documenting it is fun too. Dare I say moderation in all things.
Lastly, there is never enough time; goodbye is but temporary thankfully. Rest in eternal peace Jack Pricken and Karen Wyant. You will live on in those who love you.